I'm not putting this in a post so people will feel sorry for me. I just really need to get it out of my brain. Somehow posting things like this just helps me move on to better things:)

I so miss my mom lately. Since I ran in the the 1/2 marathon I've just missed her. Running seems to be the option I use to get rid of those feelings anyway. I thought about my mom the whole time I was running. I wonder sometimes if she is proud of me. I know she is but truthfully I'm a better person in some ways and not so good at others (that i used to think I was good at).
One of the counselors in our bishopric got up and spoke about the importance of our relationships as families here on earth. I couldn't help, but think about my mom always saying to me when she was alive "We must have been very special friends in heaven". That thought always made me feel good, but I never thought how I guess important it would become. She also always made me feel good by telling me I must have been sent to her to make her a better person. Classic her she never thought she was really good at anything except maybe sewing and eating healthy.
I truthfully get bugged sometimes at church when people raise their hands when the lesson is on death and someone will confidently says Well thank goodness we know the plan so we can't be sad or upset. (I told you I've digressed). While I believe and know that to be true. I cant help but wonder if that person has ever really lost anyone that they spoke to every day or saw almost every day. You know, what I wouldn't do to talk to my mom or be able to hug her. Somedays that's all I want. Someday, right.
Crazy, but I do feel better getting that all out.