5 Years

I was going about my business today. Cleaning, folding clothes, eating, and actually feeling a little sad. I forgot what day it was for a moment. I remembered when the entire contents of my fridge were about to be devoured by yours truly. Five years ago this lady died. It doesnt hurt as much as it used too. I thought I was ok until today. I just miss her. I want to give her a hug and talk to her. I wonder what she's doing in heaven. Is she so busy that she doesn't have time to wonder about her family? Is she busy doing work for us? Do people in heaven get to watch their loved ones sometimes? I just wonder how it all works. Sometimes it seems like such a long time ago that she died and sometimes it seems like yesterday.


My Mom and Dad with me in 1977. I'm almost 4 years old.

Tour de Phoenix

Mark and I completed the Tour de Phoenix this morning - it is a 72 mile bike ride. I am so happy its over with! I was nervous all night and didn't sleep very well. I think I got about 3 hours.
I prayed that neither he nor I would get hurt. I should have prayed that no one would get hurt because a few people did in crashes.
Mark and I had never ridden our bikes that far. The longest ride we had done previously was about 52 miles but, yay, we made it. He finished obviously much faster than me - about an hour and a half before I did. He didn't stop the whole way. He was happy with his time until he overheard some other men from our stake talking about their times. I think he did really well especially since he just started doing this last summer.
My goal was just to finish. My time was kind of slow but I'm ok with that. I stopped and ate an orange slice and banana at every aid station.
We didn't take any pictures - too much nervousness in the morning and I didnt want to take one afterwards. Mark looked fine but I had a "don't hate me cause I'm beautiful" appearance for sure. I looked like a wicked witch. My short hair was everywhere and bugs were stuck to my arms but, hey, we finished:)

This is our reality with Adam lately. He seems to look like this alot during the day. In my frustration in trying to get him to stop I told him I would take his picture. He hasn't stopped yet. I know its a stage so I'm just hanging on. I was reminded of these pictures a minute ago when Matt and he were having a conversation. Maybe its just funny to me or you just have to be here. Just a moment ago Matt was innocently following Adam around repeating what Adam says. Adam - "Trooper come follow me". Matt- trooper? Adam - Matt IIIIII am not a trooper IIII aaam a Jedi UUUU are the trooper. This conversation has been repeated many times. Matt is simply just repeating what he hears, its making Adam crazy. Its cracking me up, though. Hmmm Maybe Adam has anger issues:)
Edit: I can't remember but I think the scratch on Adam's face is from Matt. That's probably why he's angry but believe me when I say he carries on way too long.

Update On Shay

In January when we went to California, our babysitter Ashley did Shay's hair this way. It turned out really cute I think. Wish I could do it this way.




I'm not going to lie I think this has been a hard year for Shay. This is one of the 1st years she's had to deal with a lot of girl drama. In 3rd grade they are learning a ton of stuff (multiplication, division, writing, fractions, and reading comprehension), all of which we are going to have to spend the summer working on each day. I've been kind of frustrated at how to get her to catch on to these concepts, especially reading comprehension and fractions. She doesn't seem to get them and doesn't seem to want to either. The teacher met with me recently and suggested Shay had some kind of attention learning disorder. She said Shay was a really great kid and very kind to all of the other students, but that she didn't really want to pay attention. She thought she got the concepts, but just wanted to get her work done as fast as she could. I've been through this before with Derek, so all I could think of was how she can concentrate and complete things that she really enjoys but not other things that are important. I thought of myself as a kid and how I would be thinking about what Jimmy was doing with his shoe when the teacher was talking. All of a sudden, I would wake up and wonder what the teacher had asked us to do. I feel like my daughter is just a chip off the old block. I never understood fractions for a long time either. In fact, when I'm reading now sometimes my mind wanders off and I have to read the page again.
I wonder why my "momma bear" persona lurks its head every time even when I know that people mean well. What can I learn from this? Is Heavenly Father trying to teach me patience once again. I wish I could go back to the blissful days in college when I connected parenting to just playing with your kids and going to McDonalds or the park - not all of this other junk. Anyway, I have faith that everything will be fine in the end. I intend to help Shay to the best of my ability. I once got the feeling when Derek and I were having a hard time together that Heavenly Father would have not given me this kid if he didnt think I had the ability to help him out. The funny thing is he has made me a better person in so many ways - Shay too. Trials provide learning experiences, right?